What should I be looking for in a wife?
The Bible offers much wisdom and guidance on the qualities that lead to a godly and fulfilling marriage. When seeking a wife, there are several key things that Christian men should look for:
Spiritual Maturity
A wife’s personal relationship with God is of utmost importance (Proverbs 31:30). Seek a woman who loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). She should have a steadfast faith and obedience to God’s Word. Her life should exhibit the fruit of the Holy Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). A spiritually mature wife will help spur her husband on to godliness and growth.
Godly Character
A wife of noble character is more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). Look for a woman of integrity who seeks righteousness and speaks with wisdom (Proverbs 31:25-26). She should be humble, honest, faithful and compassionate. Her lifestyle should align with biblical principles. A wife of strong moral character will be a tremendous blessing to her husband.
Nurturing Nature
A godly wife looks well to the ways of her household (Proverbs 31:27). Seek a compassionate woman who loves and serves her family. She should desire to create a warm, nourishing home environment. A caring and supportive wife who meets the needs of her husband and children is a precious gift.
Industriousness
A wife of noble character is eager to work and productive (Proverbs 31:13-19). Look for a diligent woman who uses her time and talents wisely. She should have a servant heart and work ethic. An industrious wife who contributes to the home is to be praised.
Physical Attraction
While spiritual qualities are most important, there should also be a mutual physical attraction between husband and wife. Seeking a wife with inner and outer beauty that is admirable to her husband is appropriate (Song of Songs 4:1-7). Physical intimacy in marriage is a blessing from God.
Shared Values
Seek a wife who shares your devotion to Christ and commitment to biblical principles for marriage and family. Agreement on major life values provides critical common ground. Pursue a woman who complements and supports your life calling and purposes. Unity in beliefs establishes a solid foundation.
Communication Skills
A wife must be able to communicate openly, honestly and lovingly (Ephesians 4:15). Seek a woman who actively listens, gives thoughtful responses and engages in caring dialogue. Clear, positive communication fosters intimacy, growth and conflict resolution.
Relational Skills
A wife should have strong interpersonal abilities and be caring, patient, forgiving and thoughtful. Seek a woman who builds others up and makes those around her better. A wife’s role involves much interaction so social aptitude is vital. Her relational habits can help or hinder the marriage.
Responsibility
A godly wife has a sense of duty and reliability that her husband can depend on (Proverbs 31:11-12). She stewards responsibilities well. Seek a woman who is trustworthy,organized and makes wise decisions. A wife’s maturity and conscientiousness is critical for handling life’s challenges.
Supportiveness
A wife must encourage, respect and support her husband’s leadership in the home (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33). Seek a woman who affirms your calling and role as a husband. She should be eager to follow and partner with your servant leadership. A supportive wife who believes in you is a blessing.
Initiative
Though responsive to her husband’s lead, a godly wife is also enterprising in how she manages home and family (Proverbs 31:10-31). She needs creativity and industriousness. Seek a diligent woman who actively contributes her gifts and talents. Her efforts are a valuable part of the partnership.
Teachability
A wise wife is humble and receptive to instruction (Proverbs 9:9). Seek a woman who listens well and is open to new ideas, correction and counsel. Pride is destructive, so find a wife who accepts guidance. Her teachability enables growth.
Self-Control
A wife must demonstrate temperance, restraint and sound judgment (Titus 2:3-5). Seek a prudent and sensible woman – not given to outbursts,excess or dissipation. Self-discipline and stability are vital for a wife’s demanding role.
Contentment
Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). Seek a joyful and grateful wife who delights in simplicity. Avoid a discontented woman given to vanity, envy or materialism. A content wife focuses on cultivating what matters most.
Kindness
A gentle answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Seek a gracious wife who is thoughtful, forgiving and slow to anger. She should be merciful and tenderhearted. A kind wife’s influence can heal relationships and bring peace.
Adaptability
A wise wife adjusts herself wisely to changing circumstances (Esther 4:14). She handles pressure constructively. Seek a flexible, resilient woman who remains steadfast in difficulties. Her adaptability will enable the partnership to endure challenges.
Compatibility
While the above qualities are universal, also seek a wife with whom you have personal chemistry, shared interests, compatible temperaments and mutual respect. Pursue a woman who will be a true friend and companion. Compatibility helps cultivate rich companionship in marriage.
In summary, a godly wife is a precious gift and blessing from the Lord. When seeking a wife, look first at her love for God and spiritual maturity. Also pursue a woman of wisdom and noble character who will nurture home and family. Shared values, strong communication and relational skills also provide a solid foundation. Finally, seek compatibility, friendship and unity in marriage. With God’s help, these key biblical qualities can lead to a fruitful, lifelong union. The Lord promises that “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). May we honor Christ as we pursue godly marriages.