Betrothal in biblical times referred to the first part of the marriage process. It was a binding agreement between a man and woman and their families to marry at some point in the future. Here is an overview of betrothal in the Bible:
Meaning and Purpose of Betrothal
The word “betrothal” comes from the Hebrew word erusin which means “to pledge or consecrate.” Betrothal was a formal commitment that a man and woman made to marry each other at some future time. It was as legally binding as the marriage itself.
The purpose of betrothal was to give the man and woman time to prepare for married life. It provided a transition period between selection of a spouse and the wedding. During this time the man would prepare a place for his bride while the woman gathered her dowry and made clothes. Betrothal prevented hasty marriages and gave couples an opportunity to get to know one another before the wedding.
How Betrothal Worked
When a man was interested in a woman, he would approach her father and make a marriage proposal. This was called “asking for the hand” of the bride (Genesis 34:11-12). If the woman’s father approved the match, the families would negotiate the ketubah or marriage contract. This specified the bride price (mohar), dowry, and other financial arrangements. Once this was settled, a betrothal ceremony would take place.
The man would give the woman a valuable object such as a ring, piece of silver, or documentation of the marriage contract. This symbolized his commitment to follow through on the marriage. The woman’s acceptance of the item indicated her consent to the union. At this point, the man and woman were legally betrothed though the wedding had not yet happened.
Following betrothal, the man and woman were considered husband and wife and required a divorce to break the betrothal. Any sexual relations with another person were considered adultery even before the wedding took place (Deuteronomy 22:23-27). The betrothal would typically last for about one year while preparations were made for the wedding.
Wedding Ceremony
The second stage of marriage was the wedding ceremony called nissuin in Hebrew. This is where the man would take the woman into his home and they would consummate the marriage. The wedding feast lasted for up to seven days as the community celebrated with the new couple (Genesis 29:27, Judges 14:12).
At the ceremony, the bride wore special jewelry and robes provided by the groom to symbolize her new status (Isaiah 49:18, 61:10). The marriage was then sealed with the consummation in the wedding chamber (Genesis 29:21-23). Once the festivities ended, the couple began their new life together.
Examples of Betrothal
There are several examples of betrothal in the Bible:
– Isaac and Rebekah: Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. When the servant found Rebekah, he gave her a gold ring and bracelets to formalize the betrothal (Genesis 24:22).
– Jacob and Rachel: Jacob agreed to work 7 years for Laban in exchange for marrying his daughter Rachel. After the 7 years, Laban deceived Jacob by giving him Leah first. But Jacob was able to marry Rachel a week later (Genesis 29:15-28).
– Mary and Joseph: Mary was betrothed to Joseph when she miraculously conceived Jesus. This put Joseph in a difficult position since they were still in the betrothal period. But an angel told Joseph to go through with the marriage (Matthew 1:18-24).
– Samson and Philistine woman: Samson insisted on marrying a Philistine woman despite his parents’ objections. They reluctantly went through with the betrothal process for him (Judges 14:1-10).
Betrothal in Ancient Near East Culture
Betrothal was a common practice in the Ancient Near East outside of Israel as well. Examples include:
– Babylonian culture had a two-step marriage process similar to Israel’s. Contracts have been found specifying mohar, dowry, and inheritance arrangements.
– Hittite marriage contracts listed the bride price and penalties if either party broke the betrothal. Consummation and hometaking followed months or years later.
– Assyrian laws decreed death for a man who slandered his betrothed’s virginity. This shows how binding betrothal was.
– Ancient Egypt focused more on financial contracts than ceremonies. But evidence indicates a gap between betrothal and a wedding feast/consummation.
So while the exact rituals differed, the series of betrothal, preparation, and finalization existed across the region. Biblical betrothal drew from established cultural customs.
Implications and Significance
Looking at the betrothal process gives insight into biblical marriages:
1. Family involvement – Parents had a major role in arranging and approving marriages for their children. This was a family affair rather than just an individual decision.
2. Legal protection – Betrothal prevented rushed elopements and provided legal recourse in case one party backed out. There were consequences for unfaithfulness.
3. Virginity valued – A man knew his bride was sexually pure during the betrothal waiting period. Adultery laws applied after betrothal.
4. Preparation time – Betrothal gave couples a transition stage to get ready for married life together. They could learn about one another while living separately.
5. Commitment displayed – Entering a betrothal required serious intention to follow through with marriage. Breaking betrothal carried stigma and financial obligations.
Understanding betrothal gives greater insight into biblical wedding imagery. It reveals the intentional process leading up to marriage. God used betrothal symbolism to illustrate His covenant commitment to Israel in preparation for an ultimate union. The practices of biblical times add meaning and depth to marriage passages.
Betrothal vs Modern Practices
There are several differences between biblical era betrothal and modern marriage practices:
– Arranged marriage: Most marriages are not arranged by parents but based on individual choice today.
– Legal binding: Engagements today do not bear the same legal weight and consequences as betrothals did. They can be easily broken.
– Virginity: The culture of proving a bride’s purity before marriage is uncommon now. Sexual norms have changed.
– Preparations: Couples today typically live together, acquire possessions, and prepare for marriage while in the same home.
– Ceremonies: One wedding ceremony finalizes marriage today rather than separate betrothal and hometaking ceremonies.
– Timing: Engagements now last months rather than years. Couples marry within 1-2 years of meeting rather than arranged marriages in childhood.
– Dowry/bride price: The exchange of money between families is no longer standard wedding practice. Gifts are given voluntarily.
– Duration: Consummation immediately follows the wedding rather than happening potentially years after betrothal.
So while betrothal was foundational for biblical weddings, many components are not part of modern Western marriage customs. The ceremonies, arrangements, and timing differ significantly today.
Conclusion
In summary, betrothal in biblical times provided a binding yet preparatory stage leading up to marriage. It served to protect couples and give them time to get ready for married life. Betrothal involved formal agreements negotiated by the families, ceremonies establishing commitment, and a waiting period before the final wedding. Understanding this cultural backdrop helps bring richer meaning to scriptural wedding imagery and principles. While marriage customs have changed, God’s design for love and commitment remains timeless.