The Bible has much to say about leadership and authority within the home. There are differing perspectives on exactly who God intends to be the head of the household. Some key points to consider include:
Husbands called to lead
There are several passages that specifically instruct husbands to take responsibility for leading their families spiritually. For example:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her…In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)
These verses establish a husband’s duty to act in love towards his wife, taking responsibility for her spiritual growth and serving as an honorable spiritual leader.
Wives called to submit
Along with calling husbands to lead, the Bible instructs wives to submit to their husbands’ leadership:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22, 24)
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.” (1 Peter 3:1)
These passages establish that wives should yield to their husband’s authority and leadership of the family.
Mutual submission
While Scripture assigns primary leadership in the home to the husband, it also calls for mutual submission between spouses:
“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
Though the husband leads, he is not meant to dominate or refuse input. Rather, there should be mutual honor and yielding to one another.
Christ the ultimate head
Though the Bible assigns roles for husbands and wives, it does clarify that Christ remains the supreme authority over all:
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3)
So while the husband may lead his wife, he himself answers to Christ. The entire household is under Christ’s authority.
Children called to obey parents
Not only are husbands given leadership, the Bible instructs children to obey both father and mother:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)
Parents, and fathers in particular, are to be respected and obeyed by the children as head of the home.
Fathers specifically called to raise children
Fathers are singled out for their responsibility in raising and instructing children:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
This gives fathers the duty of taking the lead in teaching and disciplining the children under his care.
Old Testament examples
Many Old Testament examples display the concept of male leadership over households.
For instance, God approaches Abraham, not Sarah, about leaving their home (Genesis 12:1). Additionally, religious rituals and covenant acts are nearly always conducted through the father of each household (Exodus 12:3, Joshua 24:15).
These examples reinforce the pattern of patriarchy and male family leadership throughout the Bible.
A Loving, Servant-Hearted Role
While the Bible assigns men authority in the home, this is not an excuse for heavy-handed or selfish leadership. Rather, men are called to lovingly serve their families.
Paul writes “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Ephesians 5:23). Husbands should emulate Christ by taking responsibility and lovingly serving and sacrificing for those under his care.
Leadership Role Does Not Negate Equality
While giving different roles, the Bible emphasizes that men and women are equal before God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). Their standing and value before God is identical.
Therefore, male headship does not negate mutual respect and care between husbands and wives. Though the Bible assigns leadership to the husband, it maintains the fundamental equality of both genders.
Should Be Exercised in a Godly Manner
A husband’s headship should not be dictatorial or oppressive. Rather, he must look to Christ as his model for leadership, exercising care and love.
Paul writes that “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29). A godly husband acts with care and sacrifice, not control or demand.
A Complementarian View
In summary, the Bible promotes a complementarian view of gender roles within the home. Men bear the primary responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect their families. Women are called to submit to their husband’s leadership. Both are urged to mutually yield in love.
God calls husbands to lovingly lead as Christ led the church. Wives are to support their husband’s leadership and nurture the family. This is the biblical model of headship and submission within the home.
When each spouse fulfills their role with grace, the family unit thrives under God’s reign. His design fosters proper order while ensuring care and respect for every individual.
So according to Scripture, the husband/father is established as head of the household, though this authority should be exercised in a spirit of grace and servant leadership following Christ’s example. All members work together in their respective roles under God’s sovereign authority.
The Bible promotes love, service and mutual care between all members of the family unit. But the responsibility of leading the home ultimately falls to the husband and father. God charges him to exercise Christlike, self-sacrificial authority for the good of the entire household.