Absalom was the third son of King David mentioned in the Bible. He was known for his good looks and thick, beautiful hair. Absalom’s story is told primarily in 2 Samuel in the Old Testament.
Absalom’s mother was Maacah, one of David’s wives (2 Samuel 3:3). He had a tumultuous relationship with his father. When his half-brother Amnon raped his sister Tamar, Absalom took matters into his own hands and had Amnon murdered for the crime. This caused him to flee from his father’s kingdom for a time. Eventually David allowed Absalom to return, but it seemed their relationship was damaged beyond full repair.
Later, Absalom rose up against his father David and tried to seize his throne by force. He undermined David’s rule, ”stole the hearts of the people of Israel,” and forced David to flee Jerusalem (2 Samuel 15:1-14). David’s general Joab eventually killed Absalom against David’s orders when Absalom got caught by his head/hair in an oak tree during the Battle of Ephraim’s Wood. Upon hearing the news of Absalom’s death, David was overcome with grief and said, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33). This showed that despite all that happened, David still loved his son deeply.
Here are some key facts about Absalom in the Bible:
- He was the third son of David and Maacah.
- He was praised for his handsome looks and thick head of hair.
- He murdered his half-brother Amnon as revenge for raping Tamar.
- He fled from David’s kingdom for three years after the murder.
- David eventually allowed him to return to Jerusalem.
- He undermined David’s rule and stole the hearts of the Israelites.
- He declared himself king and forced David to flee from Jerusalem.
- He was killed by Joab against David’s orders during the Battle of Ephraim’s Wood.
- His head/hair got caught in an oak tree during the battle, allowing Joab to kill him.
- David grieved deeply when he heard Absalom was killed, wishing he had died instead of his son.
Absalom’s Appearance
The Bible emphasizes how handsome Absalom was, specifically praising his thick head of hair. 2 Samuel 14:25-26 says:
Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king’s weight.
Having thick hair was a point of pride and a sign of health and virility in ancient Israelite culture. Absalom’s hair is estimated to have weighed over 5 pounds! He clearly took great care of his appearance and looks, which perhaps contributed to his popularity and ability to steal support away from David later on. His striking good looks are mentioned again in 2 Samuel 18:9 when he was killed: “And Absalom happened to meet the servants of David. Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak, and his head caught fast in the oak, and he was suspended between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him went on.”
Absalom’s Murder of Amnon
One of the earliest stories about Absalom involves his half-brother Amnon raping their sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-22). When King David failed to punish Amnon for this crime, Absalom took matters into his own hands:
But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar. After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.
So Absalom took revenge and had Amnon murdered at a feast he had arranged, and then fled from David’s kingdom in order to avoid punishment. This began a rift between Absalom and David that never fully healed.
Absalom’s Return and Revolt
After three years in exile, Absalom was eventually allowed to return to Jerusalem through the efforts of Joab (2 Samuel 14:1-24). However, tensions remained between David and Absalom. Absalom felt that David favored Solomon, his younger brother, as the next king rather than himself the eldest surviving son. So Absalom plotted to steal the kingdom away from his father.
2 Samuel 15 describes how Absalom undermined David’s rule and stole the loyalty of the people away from David. He did this for four years (verse 7), positioning himself as the rightful next king. Finally, Absalom declared himself king in Hebron and marched on Jerusalem, forcing David to flee the city to avoid bloodshed:
But Absalom sent secret messengers throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say, ‘Absalom is king at Hebron!’” With Absalom went two hundred men from Jerusalem who were invited guests, and they went in their innocence and knew nothing. And while Absalom was offering the sacrifices, he sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, from his city Giloh. And the conspiracy grew strong, and the people with Absalom kept increasing.
And a messenger came to David, saying, “The hearts of the men of Israel have gone after Absalom.” Then David said to all his servants who were with him at Jerusalem, “Arise, and let us flee, or else there will be no escape for us from Absalom. Go quickly, lest he overtake us quickly and bring down ruin on us and strike the city with the edge of the sword.” (2 Samuel 15:10-14)
So David fled Jerusalem to avoid fighting against his own son, even as Absalom took over the kingdom.
Absalom’s Death
2 Samuel 17-18 records the Battle of Ephraim’s Wood between David’s forces and Absalom’s rebels. David ordered his men to be gentle with Absalom, but Joab saw an opportunity to kill the rebel prince and end the conflict decisively. During the battle Absalom’s long hair got caught in the branches of an oak tree as he was riding his mule, leaving him defenseless and allowing Joab to kill him.
Now Absalom happened to meet the servants of David. Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak. His head caught fast in the oak, and he was left hanging between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him kept going. And ten young men, Joab’s armor-bearers, surrounded Absalom and struck him and killed him. Then Joab blew the trumpet, and the troops came back from pursuing Israel, for Joab restrained them. And they took Absalom and threw him into a great pit in the forest and raised over him a very great heap of stones. (2 Samuel 18:9-10, 16-17)
When David heard that Absalom had been killed, he was overcome with grief, wishing that he had died instead of his son. Despite all of Absalom’s rebellion, David still loved him deeply (2 Samuel 18:33). Absalom’s death marked the end of his coup attempt against David’s kingdom.
Lessons from Absalom’s Life
Though he was David’s son, Absalom’s life provides several negative examples and lessons:
- Don’t take justice into your own hands – Absalom should have trusted God to deal with Amnon justly rather than murdering him out of revenge.
- Beware of pride – Absalom was praised for his good looks and let it go to his head, feeling he would be a better king than his father.
- Forgive others – His lingering anger and resentment toward Amnon and David led him down a destructive path.
- Honor parents – Instead of rebelling, Absalom should have respected David’s plans for Solomon to be the next king.
- Avoid deception – Absalom lied and deceived many people in order to steal the kingdom, rather than trusting God.
Overall, Absalom is presented as a negative example of what happens when pride, anger, and desire for power go unchecked. His story reminds us to humble ourselves before God, seek justice properly, respect authority, and trust in God’s timing and ways.
Absalom in the New Testament
In the New Testament, Absalom is mentioned only once as part of a genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1:6 – “and Jesse the father of David the king. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph, and Asaph the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos, and Amos the father of Josiah, and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon. And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel, and Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.”
So Matthew establishes Jesus’ lineage back to King David through all his descendants, including Absalom. Though he rebelled against his earthly father, Jesus came to do his heavenly Father’s will, die for sinners, and set up his spiritual kingdom (Luke 22:42; John 6:38; 18:36).
Absalom’s Tomb
An ancient tomb in the Kidron Valley near Jerusalem is known as Absalom’s Tomb. It has a cone-shaped roof and pillars going around it. However, it dates to the first century AD, much later than when the biblical Absalom lived. So despite the name, it is unlikely to actually be Absalom’s burial place described in 2 Samuel 18.
Summary of Absalom’s Life
In summary, Absalom was King David’s rebellious but beloved son whose story is told in 2 Samuel:
- He was David’s third son praised as handsome with thick, beautiful hair.
- He murdered his half-brother Amnon for raping his sister Tamar.
- This caused him to flee from David’s kingdom for three years.
- After returning to Jerusalem, he undermined David and stole the people’s loyalty.
- He declared himself king and forced David to flee the city.
- During the Battle of Ephraim’s Wood, Joab killed Absalom against David’s orders.
- Absalom’s head/hair got caught in an oak tree, allowing Joab to kill him.
- Though he rebelled, David grieved deeply at Absalom’s death.
Absalom serves as a warning about unchecked pride, anger, and desire for power. But also shows the pain even rebellious children can cause parents who love them. Through his genealogy, Absalom is connected to Jesus Christ, the perfect Son of God.